Cultivating Friendship


“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

As a new mom, I’m still trying to figure out how to balance everything in my life. One of my biggest struggles right now is finding long lasting friendship with other moms.

Looking back on my single days, life seemed so much easier. I had a ton of friends, places to go and things to do. I could juggle so much at once. Then, when I became a wife things changed a little bit. Some how my husband and I were placed in a different category. We weren’t as close to our previous friends as before. Some married couples became our closer friends. Now, as new parents, it feels like once again we have switched to another group.

The hardest part is that my husband and I live 12 hours away from our families. It’s almost been a year since we moved to Indiana and I have yet to make any strong friendships with other mothers. My work schedule never allowed me to be available to join small groups. Until recently, we struggled finding a church to call home. It’s been tough to say the least.

In the last month, I’ve found myself praying for a fellow mother to ask me for a mom’s night out or a cup of coffee. I’m shy in many ways so it’s still hard for me to approach people and start conversations. This lack of confidence is having a negative impact on me and my husband.

Steven is one of the most supportive men God ever created. No matter how much he tries, I still find myself getting frustrated with him. Not because he’s doing anything wrong. It’s because God created us to be part of a community. As awesome as my husband is, he can’t fill every need of my life. Sometimes you need another woman to talk to.

My grandmother used to tell me stories of how women in her community would come together a few days a week to do laundry. They would have time of fellowship while their kids would be playing in the backyard. Obviously, this was around the time most women were house wives and the husbands were working. How awesome would it be though if women today could do something like this? Then it wouldn’t be hard to spot a new mom who needed help. Or find an older woman with grown kids who could give advice to the struggling moms of her community. Our society may seem connected, but we’re disconnected from what truly matters. Investing in lives around us. I’m guilty of connecting more through Facebook than face-to-face and I’m feeling the impact. We need more than an online relationship. Ladies, we need to step up and find a way to be an encouragement to others.

I challenge you this week, if you’re a mom who is seeking a friendship, go out and find a friend. I know it can be harder on some than others. Maybe you’ve been thinking about hanging out with a co-wroker or another mom you met at church. Ask them out for coffee so you can get to know them better. Even joining a women’s small group of some kind can help you meet other moms in your area. This may be an easier step for some. Especially if you’re shy like me.

Don’t worry, I’m taking this challenge too. I’ve already set up a breakfast hang with a mother from church. I’ll be sure to post about it later. With her permission of course.

Also, I would love to hear about you completing this challenge. How it made you feel finally connecting with another mom. Share your story in the comment area below. It could encourage others to do the same. Remember, we’re all in this together.

Until next time,





One thought on “Cultivating Friendship

  1. Elizabeth says:

    I have been trying to seek out friendships with women, too. This week, I had lunch with a sweet friend who has kids similar in age to mine, and it was so refreshing to share stories and encouragement with each other. And our little ones had just as much fun as we did.

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