We’re Fostering and I’m Terrified

Adoption. It’s been a topic of conversation between Steven and I since before we were married. Both of us have always had a passion to provide a home for children in need. Steven and I have spoken about adoption for a while. We thought adoption wouldn’t happen until AFTER we had all of our kids. Maybe when they were older. In recent weeks though, God has been pulling me closer to the idea. God is saying, “now is the time.”Steven and I have decided to adopt through the foster system. Not because we can’t have anymore of our own children. But because there are kids who need our help. (Yes, we hope to have more children of our own in the future.)Every day I hear stories in my line of work about children being neglected, abused or sexually assaulted. Each time my heart breaks for them. The mom in me wants to find that child, give them a huge hug and let them know they are more than those circumstances. I think it has to do a lot with my own past.Turning my mess into a message.Many of you already know I grew up with an abusive father. I was lucky enough to have a mother who got us out of the situation. Yes, my past is minor compared to most of these children. But I also feel like God wants me to use the bad that happened to me and help children who aren’t lucky enough to have a good parent.When God called me to adopt. I was driving home from work the other night when I realized the moment I wanted to adopt children from traumatic situations. I was 12 or 13. My sister, mom and I had left the situation with my dad. At that time I was still healing from abuse and trauma. I was on a trip with my church youth group at a Mission Fuge. I was slowly learning about God and where my relationship was with him.During that trip we visited an orphanage. It was full of kids who were taken out of a bad situation and put in a group home. I remember there was this one little girl who I gravitated towards. She was maybe 5 at the time. That cutie was stuck to my hip the entire time I was there. For some reason she thought I was cool. I remember listening to her talk about why she was in the home. At 13 years-old I was completely broken by her story. And yet this little girl still had the biggest smile on her face. That little girl made me realize I wanted to adopt children who have been through rough situations.I remember when I left that orphanage I cried. I wanted so much to call my mom and tell her I’m bringing home a sister. I felt powerless. After all I was barely a teenager. What could I do? That was the day God told me I would adopt children.Providing a home for kids most in need. Steven and I are wanting to adopt older children. They are the children who really need good homes. I know that age group will be so difficult. I don’t expect these kids to walk in my home and throw their arms around me with gratitude. But I do pray they walk in our home and feel love, safe and secure. That my home can allow them to finally let go of that breath they have been holding in for so long.I have no clue what is in store for us as we embark on this journey. There are days I am so excited and there are days my fear starts to creep in. I begin to question if we are good enough? Will we be able to make a difference? When I have those doubts I just think back to my own past. That’s when I’m reminded I found refuge. Now, it’s time to provide the same for these kids.Prayer please. I ask if you could pray for us as we begin this process. Even if you know nothing about fostering or adoption…prayer is a powerful thing. If anyone does have experience I would love to hear your thoughts. What were the biggest challenges? How many you have adopted?Why I Don’t Want My Children To Say Yes, Ma’amHow My Nervous Breakdown Led Me to a BreakthroughWhen God Uses Our “Ugly” to Impact OthersIn the Eyes of Babes: What I learned about speaking encouraging words to my daughter

3 thoughts on “We’re Fostering and I’m Terrified

  1. Patti Flippen says:

    Praying for you and Steven as you go through this journey. God will bless y’all for being willing to help children in need.

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