“Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” – 1 John 3:18
It’s easy to show your spouse how much you love them days after you say, “I do.” But as time goes on and more children come into the home showing your love can quickly fall by the wayside. I don’t just mean telling your spouse you love them. As we know, marriage is so much more than words. As it says in the scripture above, we must love with our actions.
How does your spouse need to see that you love them? Great question. One way Steven and I keep in check our needs is by asking, “what is your love language?” If you’ve taken this test before you know that the results can change. In the last 3 years of marriage my needs have changed several times.
You can click here to take the test and find out what ways you and your spouse can love one another better.
These are 5 ways you can love your spouse based on their love language.
- Physical touch. This is usually the number one love language for men. If your spouse’s number one love language is physical touch then cuddling together is crucial. And other stuff but I don’t need to elaborate on that. My husband likes when I hold his hand or cuddle on the couch with him. We used to do that all of the time in the beginning our marriage but since we’re always so busy, I’ve forgotten that my husband still needs that from me.
- Words of Affirmation. This has been in my top 2 most of my life. I am the type who needs to constantly be reminded that I am loved, beautiful and appreciated. Lately, this has become my number one again. Guys, this may be hard for you to do, but your wife may need this. A great way to encourage your husband/wife through words can be things like leaving love notes throughout the house. I love when Steven leaves me a note by the coffee maker. Even simple text messages. But of course, the best way to melt your wife’s heart is by looking her in the eyes and giving examples of why you love her.
- Acts of service. There are some spouses who love it when you take out the trash. (Okay, maybe the ladies enjoy that). A great way to do this is by helping out with chores. Making breakfast and bringing it to your spouse in bed. Or being the one to get the kids ready for school. This is probably my second highest right now. It really only takes small gestures to follow through with this love language. The best tip is to ask your spouse what you can do that makes them feel loved?
- Receiving gifts. Men, you may think this is number one for your wife, but you may be surprised. Most women don’t want expensive jewelry. (Not that we would turn that down). However, if this is her love language..or his…gifts don’t have to break the bank. One thing my husband does is buy me fresh flowers. He knows how much I love having them in our home. We shop at Aldi so they cost about $4 a bouquet. They last about 2 weeks. I also love candles. For my husband, snacks are his favorite. So I will pick up a favorite treat sometimes and bring it home. Another great gift could be giving your spouse time to do what they love. My husband loves to read but he rarely gets the time. So I’ll send him to a coffee shop to read for a few hours.
- Quality time. No matter where this falls on your list I think it’s still important to do. But for some this is your number one love language. A great way to spend time with your spouse is sitting down and enjoying a cup of coffee together. Maybe enjoying a fun game together. Quality time does NOT happen in front of the TV. Another idea could be exercising together, hiking or working on a project. Steven and I always make time together on weekends. Once Aurora goes to sleep we find some way to spend quality time. We basically have date nights every weekend.
Finally guys, you don’t need a woman’s manual to figure out your wife’s needs. Ladies, you don’t need to harass your husband so he’ll tell you what he wants. Like I said before, Steven and I are always trying to make sure we are constantly fulfilling each other’s needs. It’s so important in a marriage to make sure you both feel loved through your special love language.
Remember, God should always come first, then marriage and then kids. No matter how busy your lives are, take time to love your spouse through ACTION.
What are some ways you show your spouse you love them?