“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’”
— C.S. Lewis
You spend all day cleaning your home. Picking up the toys in the living room. Baking your favorite treat. Suddenly you hear a knock at the door. Your heart starts pounding. You take a deep breath and open the door to the person you’ve been prepping for all day. Your new mom friend and her kids.
I never knew finding mom friends would make me feel like a teenage girl trying to get a date for the school dance. Have you ever gone up to another mom with her kids and become speechless? (Don’t be weird. I’m not talking about physical attraction.) Making mom friends is hard. There are so many things you have to make sure connects when trying to find a close friend. You want to find a mom who has similar likes, disciplines their kids like you and makes you feel encouraged. But getting to that point is hard.
I remember when I became a mom I struggled making friends. I would see moms who I wanted to talk to but would get too nervous. I didn’t want to get my “friendship heart” broken because we didn’t connect. I remember when I met my friend Heather. We were at a fall festival at our church and my mother-in-law introduced us. We were talking about likes and dislikes. Honestly, I thought to myself, “I hope we become friends.” But I didn’t get my hopes up. The next week we started organizing a time to get together.
I can tell you the first few times we hung out I was so nervous. I didn’t want to say something dumb that would kill this friendship. After a year we’ve gotten closer. We text each other when we can’t hang out. A few weeks ago Heather folded laundry while I was at her home. That’s true mommy friendship right there. Heather is my one mommy friend I can count on. I have several amazing mommy friends across the U.S. but having one down the road really helps. Especially when our kids and husbands get along.
“Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.”
— Amy Poehler
It took about 2 years to meet a good friend like her. There were many days I felt alone. Wishing I had someone to hang out with it. To the mom who is searching for that special friend…the day will come. I know how hard it is. If you’re a new mom living far from family then that friendship may take a while to find. Don’t let those butterflies keep you from saying “hey” to a mom at church or at the grocery store. She may be your new close friend.
Veteran moms. Don’t be shy either. Even if your kids are grown, find a young mom to befriend. You may remember how scary it is in the beginning. So why not come alongside that mom and help her?